Blind Dave's Blog

WEDDING BELLS

21-07-2007

He's got seven marathons in seven days on seven continents coming up next year, but for now Black Country runner Dave Heeley has been enjoying himself with the family at wedding. Well, if you count losing the cap on your tooth and getting drenched as enjoyment he has.

Hi Stirrers

Did I mention the Pink Ladies a couple of weeks ago?

No not the ones in Grease, I mean the old mother hens who went down to Bridgewater for the hen night?

Well off we all went to the wedding, yes you heard right, we all went - for once I was included. Mind, as Wicksie couldn't get his suit back from the cleaners on time, he stayed home for a little holiday with Jane “The Neighbour” (the one who likes to walk her jaw).

We set off down the motorway and you've guessed, it was raining - surprise, surprise. But to our surprise when we got to Bridgewater, the sun was that hot we needed shorts.

We dropped into the groom's mother, Sue, who was putting up Debbs' mom for the night and I was getting changed there the following morning for the wedding.

I was sitting in the living room, waiting for a cuppa, when I heard a strange noise coming from the kitchen. “What the hell is that” I wondered. It sounded like there was a cow in the kitchen. Well, I wasn't far off - Sue had a great kettle, which when it was boiling made the sound of a cow mooing.

I must get one of those kettles, certainly a talking point.

From there we went to book in at the Travel Lodge, then we met up with the others for some tea in Wetherspoons. We then said we would drop off the ladies back to Sue's before heading back to the lodge to get the girls into bed for an early night, as it was going to be a busy day for them tomorrow.

I rearranged the seating in the car, so all got in, but talk about laugh when they got out. Sue was sitting in between the girls and their car seats, and all I'll say is that her bottom is not quite as small as it was some years ago and she got stuck.

After much pulling and pushing, we got her out and as you can imagine, the laughter by this time was rife. Debbs' mom was chuckling so much in the back that she got her foot stuck in the seat belt and she ended up on the floor of the car.

To say every one was wetting themselves with laughter was an under statement.

I was worried for the landlord in the pub they were going, because this was before they had even had a drink!

We made our way back to the sanctuary of the lodge, put the girls into bed and I went in search of a pint. The lady at reception very kindly escorted me to the pub, I tried a Guinness, as you do, then ordered drinks for me and Debb for back in the room well - but then it became obvious I would have to work for my escort. There's always a catch.

“Whilst your standing there finishing your drink, would you mind doing me a little favour?” the lady behind the bar and the receptionist said. They placed a menu in front of me in Braille.

“We've only had this in a couple of days ago and we haven't had the chance to check it's right.”

So instead of walking through the yellow pages, my fingers did the walking across a Braille menu. Thinking back now, I should have wound them up a bit, I could have told them all sorts, but I didn't. I wonder how much proof- readers get for checking documents?

I never even got a free pint, charming. Still, I got my drinks carried back to the room and was escorted by two nice young ladies. We knocked the door and when Debb answered I said “Look at the service you get at these lodges”. Debb said “There's only you could manage that”.

The Saturday morning started early, with showers and baths. The girls were very excited, because it was their first time for being bridesmaids. We had breakfast and then made our way to the hairdressers, where the girls had their hair platted - the long day for them had just begun.

After that I was dropped off at Sue's, and Debb and the girls went on to the Brides Mothers.

What a greeting at Sue's. The kettle was mooing and a bacon sandwich appeared in my hand. Washed and changed, Debb picked us all up and off we went to the church, with Georgie-lee and Dannie looking absolutely beautiful I'm told.

I don't care who you are it certainly gives you a very proud feeling. The church, the service, plenty of tissues for those crying eyes, (of joy I might add). Brides' mom, groom's mom and our girls' mom - yes Debb shed some tears and why not? It's not every day our girls are bridesmaids.

The photos outside all went like clockwork, even the rain only seemed to come down between photos. I hope the Bride and Groom didn't get too wet. Mind, whilst every one was chasing them to the wedding car armed with either camera or confetti, I was left by myself in the churchyard.

I have this uncanny knack of being left on my own, do you think some one is trying to tell me some thing and when it rained, you've guessed it, I had nowhere to shelter, so I managed to get wet, in my new suit as well!

From there we made our way to the wedding venue, Rookery Manor, just outside Weston Super Mare.

It sounded very tranquil and I was told it was very pretty, the main building and function rooms quite separate to the converted barns which were the guest rooms.

By the sounds of it someone had certainly done their home work in the design sense.

We were greeted with a glass of champagne, guests mingling, camera's clicking and the sun was shining, perfect.

Before the official proceedings began we decided to check in our chalet. It was two storey - the girls beds downstairs, with WC, ours up the staircase. Unfortunately, no one told me it was an apex roof with the old beams in it with a dormer window, but I soon found out, or should I say my head did. Crunch! It hurt.

I was walking around like Groucho Marx from that point, until I forgot and stood up - yes it was going to be one of those nights.

We unpacked the car and in the chalet I walked around very carefully, the girls picked which bed they wanted, and we were ready for the reception.

At this point Debb pulled out a packet of Fig biscuits, just to take away the hunger pains whilst we waited for the meal, Pain! I have never experienced pain like it. Chewing on the biscuit fetched the temporary cap off my tooth, just what I needed, with the meal to come.

Debb did her Florence Nightingale bit and forced the cap back on the tooth, Oh the pain, but my stomach said you'll simply just have to chew on the right hand side, even my own body has no sympathy!

Fortunately the pain subsided enough for me to eat a lovely beef meal. I think the speeches went well, and the best man managed to embarrass the groom's mother, Sue. How is that secrets come out at a wedding?

At our table Linda, the best man's wife, came really prepared for the kids. She had little embroidery boards, keeping the kids entertained through all the speeches, in fact it did a great job on me too. She gave me a little police car to embroider, but we wont dwell on that, yes the day was going simply perfect for bride and groom.

The day flashed by. No sooner was the dinner out of the way, than the night time guests were arriving. Suddenly there was a loud bang, and the smell of smoke. When I came down off the ceiling, I was told it was an inside firework going off.

Debb found it highly amusing keeping the little surprise to herself.

At the disco, I was doing my impression of John Travolta (well, admittedly, more like a Del Boy impersonation, but I try). The girls think I'm a great dancer and a great singer. What Debb and others think is another matter!

10 o'clock was soon upon us, and my intention was to let every one else go out and watch the fireworks, while I sat in and had a quiet pint, but the kids were having none of it.

“Come on Dad “ they insisted, so out we went.

The fireworks were lit and I was told they were absolutely fabulous but although Georgie-lee went to the front with Nan to get a better look, one big bang frightened the life out of Dannie, so Debb took her out of the way. They watched behind a window in the building, then with everything over, the other guests made their way back to the reception.

Where was Dave again? In the middle of the lawns! Yes, you've guessed it, all alone and not knowing where to go. Remember that song, “Alone again naturally?” I think it was made for me. Either that, or I'll change my aftershave!

Eventually Debb came and rescued me, the rest of the evening was drinking, dancing and having a good time, glad to say without any more incidents, thank goodness.

After a good nights sleep, not venturing to the loo in the night for safety reasons, we got up at a sensible hour as we were all meeting for breakfast at 9. Stretching, I got out of bed. Ouch, that bloody ceiling. I'd forgotten about the beams in the roof. I thought you started with a cracked egg not a cracked head.

That's it, from now on in this room I'm on my hands and knees. Mind, that didn't help much as I was going across the room to find my clothes, and headbutted the chest of drawers, which the kids found highly amusing.

You know I'm thinking of dropping out of this blind club, it's dangerous.

When all's said and done, though, it was a great weekend, and the wedding went perfectly. The girls were absolutely fabulous, Debb said they smiled for every photo. They looked a million dollars just like two little princesses. Even Nan behaved herself.

Yes, it was a nice little break, in every sense of the word, which included my head and tooth. But the best was the Sunday night when we got back. We had a little snack - after all that nice food all I wanted was a cheese and onion sandwich - and did I enjoy it? You bet I did.

And when it had all gone, guess what? So had the capping on my tooth. It had come off again and I'd swallowed it.

Never mind foot and mouth, I've suffered this weekend with head and teeth. I'm frightened to shake my head in case it falls off. So it's Blind Dave giving a very nervous goodbye and speak next week.

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