I LOVE THISH ARTICLE - IT'S MY BESHT MATE (HIC!)

16/17-09-2006

More mumbling and grumbling this week about steering young people away from a life of excess - but what kind of example are their parents setting. Er, “down the neck” seems to be general advice, and Andy Goff says “cheers” to that.

Since 1970, the British have increased their per capita annual alcohol consumption by 50% whereas the French have reduced their intake by more than half. That's what the stats say, anyway, and it's data I can attest to pershonally. (Hic again!)

This could be for several reasons but here's my list of why:-

1. It makes other people seem more interesting
2. It blots out the fear engendered by progressive government policies
3. We want to take anything we can off the French - including their wine!
4. Prices have failed keep pace with relative incomes
5. We worry about the distillers in the deprived Highlands
6. We now consume more alcohol with sugar in the form of alcopops
7. We all want to shag, but can only do it with ugly people when pissed
8. It is legal to destroy your liver but not to destroy your septum
9. The peasants of the Middle Ages had such crap lives they buried themselves in mead. We just carry on the tradition.
10. It tastes nice.

So all you swigging, not swinging, imbibing, Stirrers out there, why do YOU consume so much? Has your intake increased since 1970? If so, why?